Dear Universe by Florence Gonsalves

Author:Florence Gonsalves
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Published: 2020-05-11T16:00:00+00:00

13

Days ’til prom: Still 48

IT’S CHILLY AND GRAY WHEN I BURST OUT OF THE BUILDING. Even in my skirt and combat boots, running feels as good as hell, just me and my feet coming down on the ground, getting far, far away from Gene and school and everything else in that world.

“God fucking dammit,” I yell, then run faster, past the fire station and the sub shop and the dog-grooming place. The air smells like mud and new things being born in mud. Instead of feeling refreshed, I feel like I’m under mud too. Mr. Garcia gave me five days of detention. Five! The world just has no sympathy sometimes. Gene kissed someone else. My worlds finally got in the way of each other. Everything’s coming apart. Where am I going? Where do people go?

I keep going past the center of town, toward the office buildings, the strip malls, the dump. The muscles in my legs burn as I run up a sand hill in the back of a parking lot. The hill is high enough that I can maybe figure out where to go from here. When I get to the top and the only view is more parking lots and sand and office buildings, Evelyn’s voice rings in my head, pouring her heart out about philosophy: It’s not just an academic subject. It’s the consciousness we bring to our lives. I laugh out loud in between gasps of catching my breath.

Suddenly I get it. People don’t ask questions because they want to give another generation of kids too much homework to do. People ask questions because they’re scared and confused and lonely and exhausted and tiny and outraged and at one point really, really unsure of everything they never thought to question. The universe is wild and chaotic and untrustworthy and for some reason we’re here in the middle of it ordering lattes.

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